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A sharp turn..

It takes a lot of out of you – life. Everyone goes through a phase of emptiness and despair that puts you in a seemingly dark place. You are running and walking at the same time. Your eyes are open but you are seeing with your hands, as you hold on to anything for support. You don’t want to fall and this cannot be the end. Cannot be the place where your life on auto pilot took a sharp turn leaving you gasping. You are praying to be able to just get through this chapter of your life and make it to the other end of the tunnel, where the proverbial light exists. Desperately looking for celestial signs in mundane things. Could it be this, that would turn my life around? Will it turn out like any number of films that are made where the protagonist emerges the winner, shining like an angel from the deepest dungeons of darkness.. Been there or are you there now? Wave at me, I could use your company right now.

The forgotten something..

I must have been forgotten,
Else, why have the lessons been unlearnt

I must have been forgotten,
Else, why is faith so displaced

I must have been forgotten,
Else, why are moments of happiness now illusive

I must have been forgotten,
Else, why is the pain so overbearing

I must have been forgotten,
Else, why has the journey taken so much of you away

I must have been forgotten,
Else, why are the answers unfound

I must have been forgotten,
because, we tend to forget ourselves!

A Friday..

It was a Friday morning. 
One where he still had plans for the hours to come,
While I ensured I had none. 
Beginning with the customary doses of caffeine, 
We caught up with each other’s past week.

Once the formalities faded,
The laughter increased.
Time entered another zone,
But that we would have not known.

Marley continued to make our day interesting, 
We argued stereotypes and norms,
Both agreeing to disagree with our calls.

Glasses replaced mugs..
Making the conversations more intense.
The clinking frequent, 
And the proximity increasingly less.

We put sobriety to test.
Each failing with zest!
Decided we were a lost cause, 
We put on our party hats. 

We embraced our stupor
Giving way to some more hysteria
He called me the ‘Queen of Hats’
And I granted him Knighthood in my land.

The music changed its notes;
Pushing us to improvise our moves!
We went from swing to slow 
My head on his shoulders with my eyes closed,
…. I look back and wonder, where did the world go..

A long ago yesterday..

Its like the smell of wet rain on a regular day

Reminding me of a long ago yesterday

A feeling that warms my heart,

Roused by a conversation with someone once dear

That I wonder, did I know that it was this beautiful back then?

Or did I miss it, cos I was chasing after a glorious love

Is that a moment missed and never to have again,

Or just the realisation – a hope of its return..

The betrayal of faith..

It spreads inside me
The betrayal of faith.

It taints my rainbow on a beautiful day

Stealing my words as I am about to pray

Tarnishing my belief with vile truth

I weaken and question all this gloom..

Rage and pain come to visit,

Tears and sorrow, not too distant.

Feeling  defeated, but only for a moment

I banish them as I move forth

No matter how many times my faith lays tormented and broken

I begin with trust,  anew

Going through the rituals with a happy heart and,

Starting right at the top, is the only way I know

That is how I survive, as I wait for tomorrow!

Dreams..

I wake up with a bundle of unspoken words everyday

Fragments that I ache to string together

In the hope of a cohesive meaning that might make it all clearer

I wonder, weren’t they my thoughts yesterday

Right before the darkness cradled me

A darkness so beautiful, where everything is crystal

Any anguish, rush, prejudices lay relinquished

It engulfed me so deep, yet released me,

To wake up with a bundle of unspoken words yet again..

A part of me..

I know not where I go, nor do I know where I stand

At the very end, or just in a clamp.

From where I see things, they seem hazy

I wanna move from here

To a place that makes me forget of this rush in which I should be

Part of me believes in the ticking, and a part of me denies

In the hunt of my version of love, all logic has dissolved

But it remains, for a cynic to see and whip up

Why must I feel this way,

This need for something that very few have

Why can’t I be content with what the rest have settled for

Part of me convinced, and a part of me yearns

Why didn’t life unwrap in the pattern I had designed

A design so carefully crafted, that it shattered much more than the aesthetics of my life, leaving..

Part of me relieved, and a part of me scared

Cos I have not a plan, nor do I have an inspiration to begin

With my rose-tinted glasses, yet I continue the chase

Part of me hopeless, and a part of me sure

Will this ever end, I ask myself over and over again

Will I ever reach where it is that I yearn to be

Or will I while away in vain

And, if I do get there will it finally be over

Part of me wants to know, and a part of me…